Changing Sites...

So, I've had two blogs for a while... this one and my photography blog. But I'm now moving everything over there. As we all know, simplifying things in life usually isn't a bad thing. So, if you keep up with me, follow me over there! http://sabrinalewis.blogspot.com And if you have a few minutes, check out the website too! http://photographsbysabrina.com

Crazy Love

"Not being able to fully understand God is frustrating, but it is ridiculous for us to think we have the right to limit God to something we are capable of comprehending." -Francis Chan, Crazy Love

Last fall I started hearing about this book and was intrigued. It's been a while since I've read a non-fiction Christian book so I thought this would be a good one to pick up. Well, it never happened. Things come up, I get busy (because I'm SO popular, my calendar fills up fast! lol) and I never make it by the bookstore. And clearly it's too hard to go online and order something so that never happened either.

Well, I continued to hear things about this book. Two of my high school girls were talking about it, then a couple people at work were talking about it and before you know it, I find a copy of it in my hands. Just for me! Turns out the president of our company had heard about it and read it and wanted each of us to have a copy. A big THANK YOU goes out to him!

We received the books at a company lunch we had a week ago. I wasn't too excited about the lunch because everything was decorated for Valentine's and the guy I had dated at the end of last year would be sitting in the same room... Really? Man, I sometimes think it's a gift that I could be so lucky! Anyway, as our president was talking about this book, I actually started thinking about the title and Who the book was about.

It's crazy that a God that's SO big and SO powerful and SO much more than words could ever describe loves us. Especially with as crappy and horrible as I can sometimes be. Now, I know none of you are like that, but I have some pretty bad days. But God still loves me.

I'm only just finishing the first chapter but I've already had more thoughts provoked in this one chapter than I have in a long time. And it's all about the magnitude of God. Wow. No seriously, wow. Yes, I question God. Yes, I ask why... a lot. Yes, I sometimes get answers. But even in those answers I don't always get the full story. Because God is bigger than what my little mind can comprehend. And it's not fair of me to try and bring God to my level so that I can understand what He's doing. What ever made me think that I had that right? Or capability for that matter?

So what do I do with that? I stand in awe. I meditate on Him. And I worship Him every chance I get.

my NOT VERY FUN week

Pardon my "French" but this week has sucked. There are other choice words that could be used, but I will refrain. Luckily I have some amazing people in my life and one such amazing person sent this to me today and it was just what I needed.

All of our difficulties are only platforms for the manifestation of His grace, power and love. No one else can carry you through the rough times; no one else can keep you from sinking under trials and ongoing struggles…One of the things that helps in times of waiting is to review the promises God has given you in the past. Elisabeth Elliot writes “When we are puzzled by delays and detours, let us think about the great purpose of life, to glorify God.”

When the Lord feels far away, He is often allowing such feelings for a purpose. He may be teaching us to walk by faith when we are unable to sense His abiding presence.
Remember fear is not of God. James Kennedy says, “Where faith strengthens, fear weakens. Where faith liberates, fear imprisons. Where faith empowers, fear paralyzes. Where faith encourages, fear disheartens. Where faith rejoices in its God, fear fills the heart with despair."

Right now, one of my favorite little girls is in a hospital room waiting to have brain surgery in just 2 days. She's not even 3 yet. See, isn't she precious?? Visit her CaringBridge site.

And while it doesn't even compare to what this beautiful little girl is going through, my heart has been broken just a bit over the past few days because of other things going on in other people's lives, which ended up directly affecting me.

But luckily God is in control. As He always is. So that's what I'm going to rest in today. And maybe tomorrow I'll be able to see even just a tad more clearly the manifestation of His grace, power and love.

Forever, I know

Has it really been over a month and a half since I last posted?  I mean, what in the world?  Ok, there have been a few things going on... I got a little busy with Christmas family photo shoots (loved it! You should check out the PS blog if you haven't lately.  Of course that needs updating too...) and then before I knew it, December was upon us.  And here we are, Christmas day, celebrating the birth of our Savior (love it!).  

Back in June I posted about the One Person that truly makes my life complete.  And today we're celebrating his birth.  I mean, wow.  Last night at my church's Christmas Eve service, one of the pastors said something that everyone has been dying to hear about for years... Christmas is all about gifts!!  WOOHOO!!!  Bring on the presents!

LOL - of course he was completely serious when he said it because he's right, Christmas IS all about gifts... THE gift.  Because while I love everything tangible that I received over the past couple of days that came in a bag, box or stocking, the most amazing and wonderful gift was given well over 2000 years ago.  The One Person that I can't live without was born in a stable in Bethlehem because there was no room for him and his parents in the inn.  The love of my life, my One and Only, the Prince of Peace, Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God was born this day, in the city of David... and his first bed was a manger full of food for the animals in the stable.

Wow.  I'm humbled, I'm honored, I'm down on my knees.  Because the God of the universe loved me enough to give up his glory in heaven to lie in a bed of hay on the night of his birth.  How could we ever ask for a more amazing and precious gift?

I pray each of you has had an amazing Christmas!

days 1, 2 and 3

first of all, my french stinks.  no really, it does.  i can't understand more than three words from anyone and my vocab is worse than ever.  ugh.

second of all, other than the french thing, i'm having an amazing time.  i mean, seriously.  i follow a national geographic photographer around all day.  and she gives me pointers and tips and pushes me and likes my work.  yay!  so fun.

third of all, my roommate is from Texas.  she's wonderful!  but why can't i get away from these Texans?!?  it's getting a little weird that i have so many of them in my life.

fourth of all, there are some really fun people on this trip.  i hung out w/ a lady from Bostan all day the other day.  she cracks me up.  i love her.  and she's old enough to be my mom.  which just makes her even cooler.

pictures from day 1, day 2 and day 3

Off I Go!!

I can't believe I leave for France tomorrow. TOMORROW. I still have a good bit of packing and all to do, but I'm really looking forward to the trip. I mean, I'll have the chance to pick the brain of a National Geographic photographer... for a week!! Not to mention the other 22 photographers that will be there. It's all felt like a dream... but a dream that's actually coming true.

Life is an adventure. And I can't wait to see what God does with this part of my adventure. Because it's pretty darn exciting.

Over the River and Through the Woods

We probably flew over a handful of rivers and then travelled through some woods to get to grandma's house. Well, it's actually my aunt's house, but still. Grandma lives here so it counts.

It was really tough seeing granddaddy yesterday when we got here. He's down to 112 pounds and just looks weak. I knew what to expect because mom told us the details as we drove from the airport to their house. And the doctors have given him about 6 months. We cried a lot on the drive here.

But I've only cried once since being here. Scratch that. Twice. :*) Anyway... it's more than obvious that he's in pain. The cancer is on his right side and you can tell when he sits and lays down that it's bothering him. I wish I could just pull it out so that he wouldn't be in as much pain.

I'm doing my best to just listen... and watch. I want to remember every detail... the way he always answers the phone with a prolonged "heeeello" in his once deep voice that's now losing some of its power; the way his nose is a bit crooked; the way his whiskers feel on my face when he gives me a hug and a kiss.

I hate that life doesn't last forever sometimes. But I'm thankful that I have THIS time. Oh my goodness I'm so thankful. Daddy went quickly and suddenly and there was no time to just sit and talk and memorize his features. But this time I get that chance. And then once Jesus calls me home, I'll have that opportunity for eternity :*)

Dang it... I'm up to three times now.

I knew when i took this picture last Christmas that it would be a longtime favorite... That's my granddaddy, in his flannel shirt, glasses in his pocket and reading the Washington Post. In fact, I bought him one today when my brother and I went out to get lunch. *smile*

To Grandmother's House I Go

I'm sitting at the airport in Greenville waiting to board my flight to Atlanta where I'll meet up with my brother and fly to DC.  Growing up in the south, we didn't grow up with our grandparents just down the street or across town.  My dad's parents were in Easley, but when I was younger we lived in Virginia and Georgia so even they weren't really close.  Plus, they were much older and both of them passed away by the time I was 10.  I remember going to my mom's parents for five weeks when my brother and I were maybe 5 and 7 but I actually don't remember too much of that time there.  

As I've gotten older, I've called my grandparents more, tried to go see them more, but since I have a full time job in SC it's hard to get up to DC to see them and my mom more than a couple of times a year.  So, I'm SO glad to have this chance to go up, stay with them and my aunt and uncle and have nothing much on the agenda for the next few days.  It's not Thanksgiving, it's not Christmas, it's just a random weekend in September... that God carved out JUST for this.

My granddad isn't doing too well.  He's had scleroderma for a while now but we just found out recently that he also has cancer.  I hate cancer.  This is my first family member to have it, but I've had friends of friends and who have struggled with it, parents of friends who have fought and won and I hate it.  It tears life apart.  And it's just another reminder that we live in a fallen world that we aren't meant to be in forever.

So, since granddaddy is suffering and I'm leaving on my "big trip" in just two short weeks, I wanted to go and see him now.  I want to hug the 112 pounds of him that are left.  I want to sit at his feet and listen to stories.  I want to hear about how he came to know our Savior.  Because soon... sooner than I would like... I won't have that chance anymore.  And the last thing I want to do is to look back and regret that I didn't take the time or opportunity to go and see him.

Only God knows whether this will be the last time I see him or not.  My gut tells me it is.  Hospice brought a hospital bed to the house yesterday so things aren't looking too good.  But, he'll be with Jesus soon and there's nothing sweeter than that :)

Thru the Eyes of Texas

I know it's been a long time. And I'm so sorry! Life is catching up with me and I've hardly had a chance to breathe over the past few months. But while I'm still catching my breath, I want you to check out Arica's football blog. This girl not only loves college football, she LOVES the Texas Longhorns. But seriously, check it out and keep up with her. I don't think you'll regret it!

http://thrutheeyesoftexas.blogspot.com/

Cheeseburgers in Paradise

I’m ready for a good AMERICAN cheeseburger. Yes, that's right. I like meat. And I like to eat. And I like to eat meat. And I'm not ashamed.

While we were in Peru, the Peruvians (I just love saying that word) went above and beyond to make us feel welcomed in their beautiful country. We arrived on July 3 and the evening of July 4, we had the most amazingly private fireworks display I've ever seen. I mean, wow.

Anyway, they did their best to make us feel at home as we celebrated our country's birthday, which included cheeseburgers and hotdogs for dinner. The hamburgers were actually ok. Although most of our group did NOT like them. The hotdogs... well, I usually eat maybe one a year. And by eating this one I met my quota until probably 2013.

But I digress. This post is about Cheeseburgers in Paradise. I'll get to be in a bit of Paradise this weekend as I meet up with my Clemson girls (and their families) for a picnic at the lake up in Rock Hill. Woot woot! I love these girls (and their families) and we don't all have the chance to get together very often, but we'll do it this weekend!

And I'll be secretly celebrating even more because I'll be eating a large, juicy cheeseburger... and loving it :)

reading on the couch

i haven't done this in forever.  seriously.  i've been travelling or moving or something for the past forever so to spend the evening sitting on the couch reading a book is GLORIOUS!  i worked in the yard this afternoon (MY yard! ah!) and then came in intending to take a shower but got distracted by unpacking and getting more settled.  really, it wasn't a bad thing that i got distracted this time.

i finally took a shower and realized it was 8pm.  oops.  no dinner yet.  so, i did what any single girl home on a saturday night would do: i popped some popcorn, poured myself a tall glass of cold sweet tea and picked up my borrowed copy of "eclipse" (the third Twilight book).  

every once in a while though i would look up and just smile.  not at the silly story between Bella and Edward (whom i was just told played cedric diggory in HP 4, duh!  can't believe i didn't make that connection) but that i was sitting in MY house just chillin'.  it's so crazy that i bought a house.  but i love it.  

now if only i could win a million dollars so that i could decorate and landscape as i would like :)

pictures will come soon... i promise!!

1 Person

If you know me at all, you know that one of my desires in life is to get married. Another is to have children. I was never one to have a timeline of my life in regards to when I would get married and by what age I would have all of my kids. But never did it even cross my mind that I would be approaching my 30th birthday as a single woman.

But you know what? One thing I’ve learned over the past 30 years is that I have this hole inside of me that only one person can fill. Only one person can fill the void inside of me, only one person can fulfill the desires that I have and only one person can make me whole. And I found Him many years ago. Our relationship has changed and grown and deepened over the years and I’m thankful for each second of it.

As I was trying to figure out what the #1 thing would be on this silly countdown that I began a while back, I kept coming back to this one person. I aim for each part of my life to be centered around Him and while some days I’m more successful than others, I still hope that you can see in me that this one person is who I look to for everything.

Yesterday as I was moving things into my new house, the U-haul truck I had rented had a radio, but it was busted. Yay. I didn’t feel very safe calling my peeps on the phone while driving this monstrous 14 foot truck so I began to sing. Ha! I LOVE singing. But I don’t always hit the right notes. Luckily this one person doesn’t care. He’s pretty awesome like that. But I realized in singing praises to my Creator and Lord that He really does make me whole. Yesterday afternoon I was 100% content with life, with what I’m doing, with my amazing friends and family that I’m blessed to have around me… it was pure joy that can only come from God.

And then I got to work this morning. And I got an email from a friend/former interest that he was engaged. Now, I’ve been in 10 weddings and been to dozens more. I even had a dream a year about this friend proposing to his now fiancée. So I knew it was coming. But satan knew that moment that I let my defenses down that he could attack. And attack he did. Grrr… he REALLY aggravates me. I went from being on Cloud 9 to wanting to crawl into a hole in a matter of the time it took to check my email.

And no, it wasn’t because this guy didn’t choose me. He’s an awesome, godly man and his fiancée is so adorable and they’re going t be great together! It’s because yet again… I wasn’t the one getting engaged. I mean, seriously, when is this pity party going to end? I’m personally getting tired of it. As are my friends that are surely tired of hearing about it from me J
But because Jesus is so much bigger than the self-pity that satan wants me to feel, He healed me… again… and here it is, 5:00 and I’m whole again.

I love Him. I love Him. I love Him. How could I not?? Seriously, if you don’t know Him, you really should. He’s the love of my life and this is one love that I’m more than willing to share.

2 weeks...

...until I move into MY house!! eeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!

Jump Over...

... to my photography blog (click on the Photographs by Sabrina logo to the right or on the picture below) and check out the contest!!!

3 Inspirations

Three things have inspired me to be a better person today*. They are as follows, in no particular order...

• My Charming Kids You HAVE to start reading this blog. This lady is amazing and I could spend all day reading her stuff and looking at her pictures.
• Jasmine Star This woman is about 6 months younger than me and I totally want to be like her when I grow up. She's a Rock Star. In every sense of the word.
• Picture of the Day I just love pictures (obviously...) and a couple of things have inspired me to try and do a picture of the day on my Photography Blog. But it will have to wait... at least until tomorrow :)

And until "tomorrow" comes, here are a few Picture of the Day sites:

• Kodak's site
• Hobart Daily - a photo a day from down under
• Photo District News - check out this particular picture. Wow.

*Disclaimer: many people I know inspire me on a daily basis and to list them all would take up the entire page. Therefore, this post is limited to those outside my circle of influence that have made this particular day inspirational.

4 Prayers

This past weekend I was at Bonclarken for our student's mission trip planning retreat, so I missed service in the morning at Grace Church Downtown, but was able to make it to community group that afternoon. Well, we were discussing the sermon, which was based on Ecclesiastes 3, and the sovereignty of God. And today He showed me just what that means.

This morning I realized that there are four pretty big things on my plate right now that I'm praying through. With two of them I've been seeking answers for a while. The other two have only just come in front of me in the past few days. Well, I was doing normal work stuff at my desk when I got up to go get something off the printer and then take it up to the accounting department. One of the guys I work with walked into the mail room where I was and said he had a random, off-the-wall question for me. Sure! I love random, off-the-wall questions! (Now, I should tell you that while I see this gentleman almost every day, we work in different departments and it has (sadly) been a while since I've had any kind of in-depth conversation with him.) Well, he then asks me if he could be praying for me about anything.

I just stared at him.
And then the tears came.

He said that God had just let him know that Sabrina needed prayers in discerning some things right now and to be reminded that she's loved and appreciated.

I just stared at him.
And all I could say was wow.
And the tears kept coming.

God is SO big. He is SO huge. He is SO good.

And even when I'm struggling and just trying to wade through the waters that I'm in, He's there and He's guiding me and He's looking out for me. And He even sends people to remind me of that.

And that's not all :) Around 4:30 or so, one of the ladies I work with stopped by my desk and just said, "I wanted you to know that I've been praying for you about things."

Not only did God blow me away once today... He did it twice.

We serve a pretty stinking awesome God. I dare you to tell me otherwise.

half-five...

...is what time I got up this morning. But after I woke up at 4am. Luckily for me, I'm in the Pacific time zone (in Arizona) so my body was telling me it was 7am and time to get up. I mean, I was awake at 4 and WIDE awake at 5:30. Kind of sad, but it was nice to have a leisurely morning before breakfast at 7:30. Now, if I could only get in bed early enough to wake up at that time and have a leisurely morning every day before work, I may actually enjoy getting up. But no, I stay up way too late doing.... well.... I don't always know. It's amazing how it seems to important at 9pm to watch this week's 2 hr Biggest Loser episode that's on my DVR. Because, you know, it's not like it won't be there tomorrow. I mean, that's just an example. I don't make silly choices like that. I always go to bed when I should so as to get a solid 8 hours of sleep.

Pshh. Right.

6 flights

It had been 8 full months since I had been on a plane.  I went to Ireland to help with some camps at the end of June '08 and got back on a plane at the beginning of March '09 for a training session in Toronto.  

Yes, I have a pretty cool job.  Many things escape me... I am NOT Captain Obvious.  But one thing I do know is that God has blessed me in SOO many ways over the past 4.5 years and while I don't have a top 10 list (yet), I know that many of those are because of my job at Upward.  So, while I get to travel the globe in helping tell kids and their families about Christ, I get to see other people, places and things that God has made.  And it blows my mind.  

I love that even though I was on 6 planes in just a week's time, God used the time in between those flights to re-energate me.  In meeting a group of South Africans (and a Brit) while in the UK, He let me see that His people are energized!  Holy cow - it was a small group, but they are pumped.  They are ready to take the UK by storm and let them know who this Jesus is.

The next "in between" was Ukraine.  This was my fourth trip there and while Ukraine is a cold country and you can still feel Soviet oppression, you can't help but SEE that God is working.  And in huge ways.  Each time I land, I'm blown away by the people I see in line as well as behind the glass window at customs.  I mean, my heart just breaks.

If you haven't heard the song Give Me Your Eyes by Brandon Heath, go listen to it (and watch the vid) on YouTube.  No, seriously.  Go watch it now.  It'll just take 4 minutes and 2 seconds.

But then God lets me see the people I know.  And He introduces me to other believers.  And my heart soars because He's working!  He's working all around us.  We just have to ask Him to let us see where He's working so that we can go and join Him in that.  

My prayer over the past few weeks has been for Him to do just what the song says... as cheesey as it may be.  But I really want Him to open my eyes.  I'm tired of looking through my own and seeing only what I want to see.  I want to see what He sees.  I want to see where His people are, I want to see where His people need help, I want to see where His people need love.  I also want to see where He wants me in terms of those who aren't His yet.  I want to see how He needs me so that the people who have no hope can have all the hope that He gives us.

And that's going to be hard for me.  I don't say that in an "I'm so humble" kind of way either.  I'm serious.  It's SO hard for me to step out because most of the time I just. don't. know. what. to. say.  Period.  God has given me some good ears so that I can listen.  He's given me a heart that can hurt or rejoice right along with you.  But any words that come out of my mouth in regards to what He's doing around me... that's ALL Him.  There are many words that come out of my mouth that are NOT all Him... but that's an entirely different post.

I'll put some pictures up from the latest trips soon, but in the meantime... go watch Give Me Your Eyes.  If you watched it when I asked you to above... then go watch it again.  I promise another 4 minutes and 2 seconds won't kill you.  :)

7 months

... from today I'll be in Provence, France taking pictures with a National Geogrphic photographer. Yep... you read that right!!!!!!!!!!!!! National Geographic does expeditions around the world, a handful of them being devoted to photography. And I'm going. In October. 2 weeks before my 30th birthday. And I could NOT BE MORE EXCITED!!!!!!!!!!!!

God has orchestrated this entire thing and I'm just dumbfounded. A couple of months ago I got online to do a search to see if there was any way that I could work with a photographer in France. I know, it's a broad search, but I was curious. I was thinking the newer version of the movie Sabrina and was willing to do anything - including grab belts for the models in the shoot. Of course I would know what a "centure" was so I'd be able to pick out the belt :) Anyway, I digress...

This past Sunday as I was flying home from an Upward Leadership Training Conference in Toronto, I was flipping through the February issue (even though it was already March) of Delta's Sky Magazine to find the feature article, She'll Always Have Paris. This is where I "met" Catherine Karnow for the first time. I was in love with her work and with her job.

On Tuesday, I had decided earlier in the day that with my 30th birthday looming just 7 short months away that I was going to take a trip to the south of France with a bag of clothes and my camera. I'm a big girl, I can totally do a trip like that!

Well, I had some time after work on Tuesday so, I looked Catherine Karnow up online and found that she does one-day workshops about travel photography. PERFECT! That's what I need! Well, after a few more clicks and a little more surfing... I landed on National Geographic's homepage and that's when I discovered that they conduct Photography Expeditions around the world. Seriously? And do I see... no way. Is that a picture of... wait a minute! That's Provence. That's a photographer's dream. Did I just fall into a dream? For real? Please, pinch me.

Well, I see the cost of THIS excursion and realize that I don't have that kind of money just laying around in the bank. But, I call my mom to tell her about this amazing trip I had found. I was grinning like a fool... I had to tell someone about this!! So, she looks it up online and is as amazed as I was. I mean, wow. Just wow. So, we get off the phone and I go and meet my cousin for dinner to celebrate her birthday. When I get in the car, I return the voicemail my mom had left and the conversation went like this:

Mom: are you sitting down?
Me: Well, I'm driving home, so yes.
Mom: You may want to pull over.
Me: Why?
Mom: You're [family] is going to send you on that trip for your birthday.
Me: OH! MY! GOSH! OHMYGOSH!!!! HOLY COW! OHMYGOSH! ARE YOU SERIOUS?!?!?

This went on for about 5 minutes. I seriously had no other words. God is so good and I can't believe the things He is laying in place for stuff like this to happen. I'm SSSSSSOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO excited.

No one is going to be able to stand me for the next 7 months... ;) WOOHOO!!!!!

8 people

Allen and Courtney Tipping are expecting their first child soon!!

They're also expecting their second, third, fourth, fifth and sixth child soon... Yep, you read that right! Their family of two will soon be a family of eight when all six of these babies are born. As you can imagine, they are very excited, very nervous and very reliant on the Lord.

Please keep them in your prayers. Courtney went into the hospital a few days ago when she went into pre-term labor. With multiple babies, pre-term labor is common, but as always, the longer they can stay inside their momma, the more developped they will be when they are born. So, she is about 19 weeks along right now and the doctor is hoping to get her to 26 weeks. After that, his goal is 28 weeks.

Please keep up with them on their blog, www.thetippingfamily.com, and keep them in your prayers. I've known Allen since college and it's crazy to think that he and his precious wife will soon have six babies on their hands. What is awesome to see though is how much they are letting God lead.

Allen and Courtney, thanks for your encouraging faith as God leads you on this journey!